Should I change my will after family estrangement?
A couple with a $3 million estate plan is weighing changes after an adult son stopped contact amid a family conflict.
By Sal Moretti · Money Reporter
3 min read
A couple in their early 70s are asking whether they should I change my will after one of their two adult sons and his wife stopped communicating with them. Their situation appeared in MarketWatch’s Moneyist advice column, and the account is the parents’ version of an unresolved family dispute.
The couple said their net worth is about $3 million and could exceed $4 million because of an anticipated inheritance. Their existing estate plan, which includes wills and a trust, divides assets equally between their sons, both in their late 30s.
According to the father’s letter, the family had long tried to avoid political discussions. Political issues later came up when the son’s recently married wife wanted to debate them, he wrote, and he reminded the family of that earlier arrangement.
The parents say their son and daughter-in-law have not returned calls or texts since January. The father wrote that he had been told the daughter-in-law did not want contact with the family, and that painful comments were made, chiefly by her. He said he and his wife tried not to answer in kind.
He also said the couple do not know precisely what led to the apparent cutoff. They describe themselves as politically conservative and Christian, while saying their son and his wife hold different beliefs. They hope to leave room for reconciliation without putting pressure on the couple.
Should I change my will after family estrangement?
The Moneyist columnist, Quentin Fottrell, did not advise either disinheriting the son or keeping the plan unchanged. He described the decision as personal and one that may shift over time.
That restraint tracks the parents’ own concern. The father wrote that making an inheritance decision while they are hurt could be a mistake, and said they intend to speak with an estate-planning attorney before acting.
For now, the choices discussed in the column are limited: preserve the equal division, change how the son’s share would be handled, or consider a later plan focused on any future grandchildren.
Fottrell suggested that, if grandchildren arrive, the couple could consider funds through a trust, a 529 account for college, or payments at a specified age. Those were examples, rather than a recommendation tailored to the family.
The tax details of any 529 option need current professional advice. Historical IRS material says qualifying distributions for qualified education expenses may avoid tax, while the earnings part of nonqualified distributions can generally face income tax and an additional 10% tax. The IRS material in the record is dated and does not provide complete current guidance.
The immediate question is not settled by the column. Its clearest message is that the parents can take time, keep their plans under review and get jurisdiction-specific advice before revising wills or a trust.
This story draws on original reporting from MarketWatch.