Platonic marriage inheritance raises prenup warning for longtime friends
MarketWatch’s Moneyist says a homeowner can leave a house to a platonic spouse, but marriage can reshape inheritance rights.
By Sal Moretti · Money Reporter
3 min read
A platonic marriage inheritance plan has put one middle-aged homeowner’s estate wishes under the microscope: she wants to marry her best friend of more than 20 years and leave him her fully paid-off home if she dies first.
The anonymous reader told MarketWatch’s The Moneyist columnist Quentin Fottrell that the relationship is loving but not romantic. She said she has no children or dependents, while her future spouse has children from an earlier relationship and is in a weaker financial position.
Fottrell’s answer was clear on the central point: if that is her choice, she has the right to make it. He wrote that siblings, nieces and nephews do not automatically deserve priority over the person she expects to share her later life with.
Should you leave your home to a platonic spouse?
Fottrell said the issue is less about whether relatives view the plan as fair and more about whether the homeowner is acting freely and understands the consequences. Based on the reader’s account, he said the arrangement sounded like two longtime friends making a deliberate decision, rather than one person exploiting the other.
He still urged her to get a prenuptial agreement before the wedding. A friendship can sour once two people live together, share bills and face the daily grind, and Fottrell said an exit plan matters even when the relationship is not romantic.
A will by itself may also fall short, according to Fottrell. He warned that marriage can alter inheritance rights depending on the state, and some states have homestead protections that can favor a less wealthy spouse.
His checklist was blunt: update beneficiary designations, powers of attorney, healthcare directives and the will, and see an estate-planning attorney before marrying.
What is a platonic marriage?
A platonic marriage is a legal marriage built around companionship, commitment or practical benefits rather than a romantic relationship. Duke Law Firm, which has offices in Rochester and Lakeville, N.Y., says these marriages are based on friendship rather than romance, but can still end in divorce.
Fottrell noted that the financial appeal can be real. Depending on the couple’s circumstances, marriage may lower taxes, reduce healthcare costs, combine household expenses and provide access to health insurance.
He also pointed to Social Security. A less wealthy spouse may benefit from spousal and survivor benefits, and Fottrell said a survivor benefit can be affected by whether the higher-earning spouse delayed claiming benefits until age 70.
Still, the bargain cuts both ways. Fottrell said later-life marriage can bring fights over medical bills, long-term care, repairs to the home, rent, utilities, groceries and what happens if the couple moves.
Duke Law Firm also cautions that platonic marriages do not automatically avoid breakups. The firm says a spouse developing romantic feelings for someone else, or wanting a different kind of relationship, could lead to divorce.
Fottrell’s bottom line: leaving the home to the person she plans to grow old with is not unfair if both people discuss the hard scenarios in advance, document their intentions and understand the legal and financial stakes.
This story draws on original reporting from MarketWatch.